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[19 Nov 2008|12:39am] |
So I’m turning 20 in a few days.
It’s really gross.
I’m not looking forward to it at all.
I haven’t been looking forward to it all year.
When I turned 19, all I could think about was being 20.
I know it’s not the end of the world, but I hate that I haven’t achieved anything in 20 years.
I don’t really know what a person is supposed to have had achieved, but it just kinda feels like I’ve been fucking around for a while.
I’m being over dramatic, and I love it.
On Tuesday the 25th of November at 8pm, I’ll be throwing myself off a cliff, screaming “WHY!? WHY DID YOU BLESS ME WITH LIFE?!”
I’m hoping a vampire will and come bite me soon so I can stay 20 eternally, then I can whinge to you forever about how dreadful it is to be between a teenager and an adult. Eternally living in purgatory.
Speaking of compete and utter shit, I’m totally digging the human psyche at the moment.
Like, obviously I’m on the wrong career path; I’ve recently discovered this overwhelming fondness of crazy people.
I’ve probably mentioned it before, but Del and I get this sick enjoyment out of watching friendships end. You know those real cliquey people? The BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. Those ones that almost make you feel sick because of how clingy they are with each other?
Well, they never last.
And it’s amazing watching their downfall.
Usually because they just start hating each other because they’ve spent way too much time with each other.
It’s actually really common for single people to do this.
They have no one to eat all their attention, so they find someone who will, and join together, and become this disgusting force of love.
I recently came across a clique case where he and she slept together.
Sex is the fastest way to ruin a friendship.
Seriously, if you’ve had enough with one of yr friends, bone them.
Anyway, of course, I totally dug that.
I’m also enjoying those little bitch people who will do whatever it takes to get what they want.
Those people who step all over everybody? Those people are great.
Especially when said person is using other people to get a member of the opposite sex.
I think it’s great, especially when it doesn’t work, because said person is stuck with a bunch of friends they never wanted in the first place.
I’m being really indirect with that one, but if they read this blog, they’ll know I’m talking about them. I get yr game, cheeky.
Back on the subject of my birthday quickly, I’m really looking forward to birthday money.
I’m planning to get a new shit phone [one that I can vomit on] and I’ve had my eye on this investigation of death book. It’s a book that’s used whilst investigating how people died; I think some variation of biology students study it, in relation to crime studies and blah. I bet Horatio from CSI has read it.
It’s also a picture book.
It’s disgusting. And wonderful.
ohohjh, and Peter went for his job interview yesterday.
It was all very exciting.
After the interview he was telling me what the lady was asking him, and what he said in reply.
The best part is, that he copied my resume, just filled in all the details with his own.. But things like the cover letter are almost replicas.
He memorised part of it, so when the lady said “so, why do you want to work at Macdonald’s?”
He said something like “Id like to undergo training ir order to further my career in this industry”
Hahahah.
He’s so cute.
I bet it blew that bitches mind.
I hope he gets it. It’ll be so good for him.
I’ve spent the last week slaving over this stupid portfolio I have to do all in Illustrator and In Design. It’s a super pain. I want to die.
But i must get back to it...
xx
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[16 Nov 2008|04:01pm] |
I love people that just click with each other.
You know those couples that just work? I dig them.
I half always want to weave myself into their relationships because it’s such a good vibe.
Being third wheel never felt so comfortable!
There’s a girl at my school… lets call her Sarah, i'm not sure if i’m particularly aloud to talk about this or not.
But the other day I went to lunch with her and her boyfriend.
I really like them both. I secretly wish every night that I’ll be reincarnated as their love child. Haha.
Nah, it’s actually not such a fairytale.
The relationship Sarah has with her boyfriend isn’t accepted in her family because he’s a different nationality/religion… and Sarah’s family still believe in arranged marriages.
She’s now 23, and her family is currently looking for men overseas to hook her up with.
She’s apparently had a few conversations with her family in regards to not wanting an arranged marriage, but it generally ends badly, and it’s basically “it us or him”.
It’s fucked.
It’s not fair.
And it’s none of my business.
But if it was, id defs be bringing a beat down.
I guess as horrible as those situations are, it definitely makes me feel better about the crap I struggle with.
I might be having a buttload of shit or complicated relationships, but at least I can decide what the hell becomes of them.
In other news. My baby is a hypochondriac. Most of you know of my dog, Snoop. I’m pretty sure most of you love him more than you love me.
On Friday he was really weird. Not himself at all.
He was moping around, limping and walking into things.
I was actually really worried. I hate when he’s sick
Anyway, we took him to the vets yesterday, and he was diagnosed with swollen neck muscles…
I want to bash him, but am glad he’s ok.
He’s so dramatic.
Silly baby.
I’m pretty much finished uni.
I still have a masssiveee assignment due which I haven’t started.
I’m such a dickhead. I’ve had two months to do it, and haven’t been bothered.
Instead I’ve just been lurking everything and everyone and wasting my life.
This week is parade week. I’m not heaps stoked. I didn’t put anything on the run way because I don’t like promoting Whitehouse. Haha.
We have a bunch of stuff being displayed there though.
So if yr interested in wandering down [I know there’s a few of you who read my blog that are interested in studying there]
It’s at Paddington town hall.
There’s a show Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday night, with a matinee on Tuesday.
http://www.whitehouse-design.edu.au/events-calendar.html#end-of-year-sydney
I’ll be there maybe on Monday night, but definitely at the Tuesday matinee.
Bleh.
I really need to start this thing..
Actually, just before I go,
New pet peeve- those little ruffled skirts.
The ones that sit mid thigh with 3 or four layers of material.
The ones that people think look cute, but are actually really tacky?
If I see another 20 year old wearing one, I’m going to rip it off her, and give it back to the three year old she stole it off.
Thanks.
X
x
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| strawberry squeeze |
[15 Nov 2008|01:01am] |
Thursday night, look what you’ve done to me.
Feet are never attractive, don’t judge me.
I got home this morning and decided it was important to take some photos of my war wounds.
I have about 50 mosquito bites all over my body. My legs were covered in mud and I have blisters on the sides of my feet.
The photo doesn’t do enough justice.
I got home this morning looking like scum. I’m surprised I wasn’t shot by a random sniper.
Haha. Fuck. Thursday night was fun. My phone died. I don’t know what the hell I was doing most of the night.
But then I discovered my love for the outdoors, and fell asleep on Catty’s couch.
Martee came over tonight and my mum burnt pizza.
The Martee got chased up the road by some drunken feral who lives down the street.
I can still hear him screaming shit up the road.
My brother went to hillsong tonight.
…
Don’t ask. I don’t know.
It was his own decision, some of his friends go there, and he wanted to go.
So he did… and I told him not to write his name or phone number on anything... do not sign anything… do not donate any money… Run in opposite direction etc.
I stated back at uni on Thursday and hacked into my photography teacher’s computer and salvaged a shoot I did with Rachelle last semester.
The brief was ‘shirting the warrior queen’, we had to design a jewelry piece out of random shit. Model was not aloud to wear any clothing on the top half of her body, and therefore modesty must be considered. Our themes were Egyptian, Greek or Roman.
I did Egyptian and my jewelry was made from wood, curtain rings and key rings.
Lyndall on hair and makeup, Rachelle as modellll.
I also grabbed some photos from the table display I did.
You probably can remember the one I based on Narnia, and had that umbrella dome of doilies?
Extra couple of cute photos:
[cute baby mousey in the the oversized wine glass]
Yay!
xx
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| im busy procrastinating... |
[11 Nov 2008|08:52pm] |
You know that company you message "bongo" and they reply with an answer to yr question? I asked him last night when id meet a nice boy.
bongo replied "Bongo needs you need to be patient as you have pretty high standards when it comes to look wth [?] guys! A seth from PC lookalike will come out of the blue online soon."
wow!
So i declared to a few people that i was going to stay on myspace until my future husband, Seth, found me and we started our wonderful romance.
So funny that half an hour or so later, he found me!
I couldnt believe it!
Bongo predicted this, and it happned so fast!
hahaha.
You should probably add him, as we are getting married...
http://www. myspace. com/sethcohen11235
blahblah, anyhoo...
My family is really Australian. I’m 8th generation on my dad’s side, and 7th generation on my mammas side.
Yep.
No caramel members in my family.
We’re all white bogans.
My family has been involved in every war Australia has faced, and of all the men we’ve sent over there, only one came back.
He was my nans brother, Neville.
When Nev came back from WW2, his wife passed away, and he moved up to Brisbane and lived by himself until he passed away too.
I met him when I was really little. I remember being scared of him. I remember him always arguing with my mum. [his niece]
Se wanted him to come back down to Sydney and live with us, but he didn’t want to.
His house was this little fibro shack. His lawn wasn’t mowed and there were burnt out cars in his backyard.
I hate that I was too young to know or understand him.
When he died, I saw my Nan get a little older.
Anyway, the point is, I have a really small family, and that’s partially because most of my older relatives never had children.
My mum was an only child, my dad has a sister but she never had children.
Out of all my parents’ uncles and aunties, only one pair had children, and I don’t know them.
I think they’re my 2nd or 3rd cousins? I don’t know.
I know they live in Byron and have pet frogs.
It’s funny, cause maybe 10 years ago, we used to get Japanese students staying at our house. Over the period of about 3 years, I think we had about 11 kids stay for a week or so at my house.
It was fun, I really loved it.
I was learning Japanese at the time too, so it really helped me.
The students would always bring us over little presents to thank us for staying with them… Usually origami paper or books about their towns. Anything traditionally Japanese… Once I got a kimono! Sometimes they’d make traditional food for us.
It was always really cute.
Maybe our 4th or 5th girl, Nadoka, was probably the weirdest of all of them.
She was really reserved and she didn’t smile much.
Halfway through our stay, she made my family gather all around so she could give us some things she brought from home.
She gave me this little wooden statue and some stationary.
She gave my dad a letter.
The letter had come from her parents.
It was about half a page long, and really badly translated, and maybe that made it more special.
It was a letter thanking my parents for letting Nadoka stay, but also for appoligising on behalf of their forefathers for their involvement in WW2.
I remember dad almost laughing, but also remember how apprehensive Nadoka was in giving it to him.
It just seemed so unnecessary, but so amiable as well.
I guess its just sad that they still found it an issue. I guess the people who were actually involved would’ve found it harder to get over than people who weren’t, but it’s so important to remember that these men were just puppets.
They were promised riches and went home with scars.
We h8 the man.
I should be doing my essay.
You do it.
Thanks.
X
X
ps. POKEYDEX dj set at hotdamn this Thursday from 9pm.
Yay!
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| we H8 straws! |
[10 Nov 2008|10:33pm] |
So im going to start posting here again...
Dane wants to link me on his site, [yay!]
www.eightysixkillers.com We love him!
so I'll be writing in my myspace blog, and then re posting here. =]
So, starting form today...:
So we did our third shoot for this semester today.
The dreaded straw dress.[ for LJ users, weve been making a dress out of straws for the past month or so, and its been really painful]
Thank you so much to everyone who was involved, Lyndall, Adele & my wonderful Nicole and her straw sealing ability.
Also to my group. We’re geniuses.
I haven’t quite got around to editing the photos properly, but they basically looked like:
[all those squares are straws]
The past few days have been ridiculous. I’m sick of people who can’t be responsible for anything.
For this assignment, we seemed to be the only group who got their shittogether and organized everything, because since Thursday, nearly everyother group in my class has asked whether Lyndall can do hair for them.
She ended up doing hair for one other group.
But it just pissed me off how sly everyone was being.
These girls will step on everyone’s heads to get what they want, and it’s just unbelievable.
I know it’s a cut throat industry, but we’re students, and at some stage or another, are going to be depending on each other.
Fuckers.
Anyway, update on my widdle bruva.
He and his girlfriend split up.
Apparently he talked shit about one of her friends; she broke up with him, and is now trying to get back with him.
But Petes put his game face on, and tonight we had three different girls ring the house.
I hate all of them already.
Spesh this one, ‘Tashie’. She’s got the biggest bogan voice.
Such a player. So I should be getting more and more awesome stories to tell ya’ll.
 
Also, another homeless person story.
There’s this one guy who lurks around town hall. I think he has tourettes syndrome? He basically walks around screaming shit.
When I was waiting at the station this morning, he was walking up the street screaming “TOWN HALL!! TOWN HALL YOU FUCKHEAD!”
And I was scared, cause he was getting closer to me and I was by myself.
Heended up coming up to me and having a chat, asking me how I was,telling me I looked nice and then telling me to enjoy the rest of myday… He got four steps away from me and started swearing about townhall again.
It was so strange. But cute.
I also realized something about myself recently. Sometimes, when I hate someone somuch, I start to like them. I don’t hate anyone for just any reason. Ialways have good reasons… But then I get intrigued by them, and by whatmakes me hate them.
Like, there’s this woman who sits on my train every morning.
She’s a big lady. But she’s also really young.
I feel like she’s younger than me, and is dressing in her grandmother’s clothes.
Shesits on the train all prim and proper, and because she takes up so muchseat, no one sits next to her, until it gets to my station and I ALWAYSend up next to her.
She burns holes through me. She stares at me andlooks down on me, and is always so rude. And she cant walk in heels andthat pisses me off.
Every time I get mad at her, I can list like 50things in my head I could say to offend her and piss her off… but I’mlovely [haha], so I don’t.
This morning I sat opposite her, and I didn’t hate her anymore… I really loved her.
I love that she thinks she’s that amazing. I love that she has no idea who I am, but is judging me just as i'm judging her.
And I love her stupid bob cut and her double chin.
AndI like the train guard at town hall who screams at my face everyafternoon “EEEXXXCUUSEE MEEE, DON’T STAND NEAR THE STAIRS, YR BLOCKINGTHE WAY… MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR, LET PEOPLE PASS”.
Id like to imagine she talks like that all the time… screaming in her families ears.
“CAN YOU PASS THE SALAD?”
There’s only one person on my train I don’t like yet… and that’s the woman who eats porridge every morning.
Ilike porridge… but hearing and watching slopping around first thing inthe morning… watching that woman guzzle it. It kinda just makes me wantto throw up in her hair.
Ohhh I just saw a documentary I wanna watch. “the girl with 8 limbs-
Lakshmi before surgery to remove her 'parasitic twin' that stopped developing in the womb.”
Apparentlythey removed it after 27 hour operation, but there was much debate becausepeople believed she was a reincarnation of a Hindu god.
I guess, without heaps of knowledge on Hindu religion, like the Ganesha? But I think he’s only got four arms and two legs…
I don know.
Anyway, it’s interesting that it was an issue. The Childs health or religion.
Blahblah.
Ill watch it and get back to you.
x
x
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[20 Aug 2008|11:05pm] |
Dear Del,
You told me to write this after i read yr lj so we're updated on eachothers lives.
hahaha
hi del.
update...
uh,
Uni.. is.. funny. So many dramas.. between 26 year olds.
I sat on a wooden box and broke it.. then my teacher broke me.
we have 2 pet fish.
We've been stealing from the teachers lunch room and giving food to the homeless.
Work is gay. I have no shifts. my life is over.
Im seeing this dude. He's cool. Not a hotdamn/drama dude.
woot. Its cute. Hes buys me a loottttttt of food.
I got chased by a sumo down pitt st mall because we wouldnt give him a hug.
Im not kidding.
this was him:
hes a freak
we hate him
I cant be fucked writing if you havent noticed.
haha
WAH
Ill try harder next time
Love Louisey.
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| mamacita |
[20 Jul 2008|03:55pm] |
I feel so hungover today.
i drank alotalot last night at becs.
it was a grewd night.
my vodka kept getting spiked with whiskey.
ole!
no wonder i still fee yucky.
im gunna go lay dowwwwwwn..
anyway
I originally filled this out on the 10th of may in 2005, when i was 16. i just thought id do the answers again now. i havent really changed
( clicky to read quizy )
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| JE SUIS UNE PUTE. |
[19 Jul 2008|03:23pm] |
haha. Such a mess.
Im amazingggggggggggggggggggggggg.
Ps. Dont get greedy, you'll leave with nothing.
brb, going to get drunk *_*
x
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| yo liver journal |
[16 Jul 2008|05:47pm] |
fuck i neglect you..
totes dogged you for my myspace journal.
So in relation to my last entry-
- I finished my 2nd term at uni. got through it with flying colours. a credit, distinction and high distinction. But shits come up, and i have to drop out after this year. lame =[
- I jinxed that whole boyfriend thing.. haha.. after 3 weeks he dumped me. i shouldnt have told anyone. Its all good though. its more fun spending money on myself.
- im buying ladytron tickets on wednesday... The faint too. and am already the owner of Pnau tickets.
- im finishing that tattoo on monday and im almost finished drawing up my sleeve..
- still want to get out of sydney. i want to go to brazil.
- still want to get stoned.
Other shit...
Nothing really. Ive been drinking alot. its gross. i hate that i only have fun when im smashed.
Sooo many friends from school have become distant. so weird, we used to be tight and now i dont care.
buttt, i got closer to a couple of friends. thats weird too. i guess.
Ive been thinking alot about what im going to be doing in the next couple of years. im hating that i havent chosen a career path. my mum always warned me about this. she never wants me to end up like her, stuck working for a company she hates.
i guess all thats on my current agenda is working in a shit job to afford:
-tattoos
-travel
- moving out
i think thats pretty normal for someone my age. still. its left this massive blank space after all that.
my familys getting older, and thats scary too.
my brothers become a slut, my mum is so fragile and my dad is looking so old.
crazy.
i wish it was 15 years ago.
work is stupid. i want a new job.
Ive kinda given up on most things. Pretty apathetic about everything except when i have pms. haha.
I might as well just get pregnant.
kidding.
jmaybe another day.
i'll speak to you in another 3 months.
x
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[05 May 2008|10:13pm] |
Hey journal.
Just a general update on everything.
- I got through the first term at uni, 2008. I think I did pretty fucking fantastic, considering my budget... Pending grades. Over it.
- Working a day and a half a week. I cant afford anything except passion pop.
- Losing contact with alot of friends. Predicted.. Im not a good friend. But obviously, neither were they.
- Am constantly tired. Im the master of working a 10 hour shift with no sleep and a hangover.
- I found a boyfriend. No questions. I'll jinx it.
- Ladytron are touring. Finally.
- I healed my nose ring. Finally.
- Have become almost completely monotone. I love gothz.
- I got a new tattoo. Big one.. Up my side/ ribs. Collecting donations to finish it off?
- I want to get out of sydney.
- I want to get stoned.
The end.
Im going to bed now.
Goooooddniiigghhttt xx
**edit, in regards to my last entry.. I passed my drivers test. almost 3 months ago. haha. whoa.
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| My current frustration: |
[01 Mar 2008|06:19pm] |
I totally suck at saving money.
Like seriously.
I like.. eat it?
Things im not looking forward to:
- driving test.
- going back to uni
- Going back to uni, and being poor.
- Being poor.
- Going to work on monday.
Things i am looking forward to:
...
If anybody has any pot, come over.
x
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[10 Feb 2008|09:16pm] |
Hai my livejournal readerzzz.
Just letting yall know im going back to wihtehouse.
Im doing the bachelor of design there starting from mid march.
Hooray.
4 days a week, so if yall in the city, and to waste some time, ill probably always be there.
I should probably just move into the city.
roomates ahoy!
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[03 Feb 2008|02:41pm] |
i needdddddd some stuff
anybody know where i can download in- design & illustrator without being murdered by feez?
ive already used every trial version i can find on the internetzz. haha.
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| Ok liverjournal. Advice plz. |
[30 Jan 2008|09:39pm] |
Okay. So.
I started a diploma course in styling last year at whitehouse, and am due back to start the second half of my course in two weeks.
Yesterday I got a letter from school saying that theyre not running my course anymore [even though ive already paid] cause not enough people applied... The letter said to the call the school for further options.
So i rang.
Basically, the course theyre offering me is a bachelor degree in design.
The course is 3 years long, but they'll shorten it to 2 and a half because ive already studied for the past year.
So.
Pros-
+ I get a bachelor
+ I get a student card..
+ i can apply for youth allowance. [ i just dont know how much that would be..]
+ And i can use a payment program.
Cons-
+ I dont know if i want to be stuck at whitehouse that long.
+ Im going to have to quit my job and find some kind of evening.. bar tending thing... or else im going to be dead broke.
+ Im probs just going to be broke fullstop.
I dont know.
Theyve left it really late, so now i have to decide fast and its annoying.
Its not like i have anywhere else to go right now.. But I know im going to hate myself and my life this time next year, knowing i still have another year and a half left.
I dont know
help?
Anyway, Took this quiz: http://www.colorquiz.com/cgi-bin/start3.cgi
Its pretty cool.. Mine came up with:
Unwilling to extend herself or exert undue effort. Feels that further progress requires more from her than she is willing or able to give. Would prefer reasonable comfort and security rather than the rewards of greater ambition.
Your Stress Sources
Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.
Willing to become emotionally involved as she feels rater isolated and alone. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense, though she tries to avoid open conflict.
Your Desired Objective
Needs a change in her circumstances or in her relationships which will permit relief from stress. Seeking a solution which will open up new and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled.
Your Actual Problem
Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.
The end.
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[29 Jan 2008|06:59pm] |
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Ugh! Im so cranky.
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| Hai Thur El Jay. |
[28 Jan 2008|01:58am] |
I thought i was going to die in my sleep the other night.
Everything is dead.
No kidding.
If i died in my sleep, i wouldnt be half suprised.
This is anything to be worrying about.
Im just watching my fish die at the moment...
Pretty sure i'll wake up and he'll be dead.
Hes suffering loads, and i dont know if i should put him out of his misery.. or just wait it out..
Dont think im a bad person either. I did everything i could for him.
Whatever.
Its just a fish...
:(
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[23 Dec 2007|05:41pm] |
Daft Punk last night was the best.
ever.
fuck.
Youre a fucking wanker if you werent there. srz.
ok bye.
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| I want to post this because i never want to forget it. |
[02 Dec 2007|04:50pm] |
"I drew some really kewl pictures today. They were little stick figures of Lynn dying in vaious ways. Mostly me killing her. With forks. And sickles. And giant stomping boots. And piranahs. And poison beer. And guns. And knives. And cars running "over her head, put in in reverse and do it again". And acid. And and and um ... fire!! Yea!! Hmm... I hate computers. But I luv em lol. Um . . . I'm bored.
xoxox"
I love pyschos.
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| hhhhhiiii |
[23 Sep 2007|08:19pm] |
So if you havent already been told...
Im in the miss Rock n Roll finals this weekend.
Deetz as follows:
The final will be held in the evening on Saturday September 29th, 2007.
The address is: - The Annandale Hotel
17 Parramatta Road
Annandale NSW
[a 5 minute bus ride from central station]
Doors open at 7:30, for an 8:30 start.
Tickets for the final are $17.00 and can be purchased at the Annandale Hotel 02 9550 1078 or on-line www.annandalehotel.com
So yeah, if your planing for a night out in the city, come for pre drinks and nudity at the Annandale! Drinks are resonably cheap… and so am I. =P
xo
[Ps. I am TOTES not looking forward to it, and if i dotn come out on stage it will probs be because i am dead.]
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insywinsyspyder's journal
